Soo, The MTV Music Video Awards s***ed a**, didn’t they?

Here’s a few proposals how they could have been better, infused with some videos that I would have liked to see during the show but didn‘t because apparently it is enough to just BE in a video without any story or idea behind it to win a price, as long as you sell enough records:

– IF you are Usher and you are dancing in front of huge, red letters forming “OMG” then shame on you because you should have at least had the balls to go all the way over the top and make it a huge, red “LOL.

– “A historical musical performance by Justin Bieber” would only then be an accurate depiction of the truth if somewhere throughout this performance, Aliens made out of cookie-dough would enter the stage and hand out cookies grabbed out of their body and give it to starving homeless people

Broken Social Scene – all to all

– IF you are MTV and you hired a robot voice to unnecessarily announce how many minutes you have left before some other horribly lame performance starts, at least let it say once (just once): “The destruction of humanity by robot voices announcing unnecessary information will await you in 76 minutes”.

Laura Marling – rambling man

– The Music Video awards were a lot more fun back when more than 5 videos were nominated throughout the whole show. I know that MTV doesn’t air more than 5 videos per month nowadays but there are more videos out there. Do they know? Did someone forget to tell them?

Antlers – Bear

– concerning Lady Gaga, Robyn* and Florence and the Machine: well, every train wreck needs at least some good things about it, like free snacks while everything is burning and bleeding around oneself.

Sia – Buttons

– “This is the best MTV Music Video Awards of all time”? Not unless time itself started an hour ago.

– Why playing Weezer with their new single as an intro to the commercials instead of actually letting the band play? Speaking of bands like Weezer, if my memories don’t fail me, there was a mythical time when a lot more alternative (and no, Linkin Park or 30 seconds to mars are not alternative) bands were playing on such shows. What happened?

(I could have posted the Weezer video here but I hate Jackass)

– Let Cher do the hosting of next year’s awards. If she isn’t up to it, her hair will be. Or let Kanye do it because I start to get the idea that his persona is a huge and incredibly genius comedy act that surpasses anything Sasha Baren Cohen has ever done. I mean, that final song was incredible even if he missed to say “Let’s have a toast for me”. Tom Cruise couldn’t have played the delusional better…

– Why not making the “technical” awards the main features of the show because editing, directing, storyboarding and cinematography is basically, what makes a video.

– Speaking of professional award selection, the categories shouldn’t be divided into female, male, Hip Hop etc. but have something to do with music videos and not the artists making them. No Oscar goes to female, male, neurotic, bipolar and ‘became alcoholic during filming’

Modest Mouse – King Rat (I know, I know, it’s from 2009 but who cares, anyway)

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