So, Battlepug – in case you haven’t heard of it yet – is the new Eisner award-winning webcomic by Mike Norton. It sprung to life in 2011 and is the story of the hunkiest hunk in all hunktown who is clad in a leather rag (or something) and rides on a giant pug to revenge the destruction of his hometown village. There is also a giant Axolotl, so there is no reason to not love this as much as you can.
So far so absolutely epic. It’s also a story within a story because the hunk’s adventures are being told to two little doggies by a butt-naked lady.
In an interview, Mike Norton said, he had his reasons why she was butt-naked and I do believe him. But that didn’t keep me from thinking of potential scenarios that might or might not be spot on with Mike’s actual vision. We’ll have to see, I guess.
1. Nudist camp
Maybe this story plays somewhere in Europe, as everyone in America knows, Europeans are naked most of the time. And I should know, I am from East Germany, formerly known as GDR, we had something called “FKK” which means “free body culture” which means that we not only had nudist colonies but endless beaches of naked people and no one gave a damn.
Of course with Mike being from America he has portrayed Moll a little incorrectly, see, the European nudist scene sounds like an erotic daydream but in reality it’s just a lot of old people with skin tanned so much that they resemble weird, wrinkly amphibians. Or even worse, a lot of old people with skin so pale that they resemble some weird, wrinkly cave amphibians that probably glow in the dark.
2. Wet T-Shirt contest
Moll probably had a night out with the girls and after they got ready at their home, having a pillow fight in their undies and then kiss-practicing for the guys later, they went out, got totally drunk and then participated in a wet t-shirt contest. Moll obviously won, like, look at those hooters. Anyways, she got home and got out of the wet clothes and then realized that it was laundry day at the palace and all her clothes were in the royal washing machine, oh boy.
3. Selkie tradition
As a clever tie-in to Bad Machinery’s recent adventure, Moll probably is a Selkie who has come to land, shed her skin which then got stolen by a young and handsome (and probably hunky) sultan who hid the skin and made her his princess. However, as we all know, Selkies like frolicking around naked, so that’s that.
4. Empathy with pant-less friends
Look, we all know how much little doggies like to be put in human clothes, that’s why they always look so darn happy in the pictures. And Moll knows that. However, as flashy as a pug looks in a sweater, it’s something completely different with pants, there’s just something about pug waist-lines that makes it impossible for any pants to look flattering on them. So to not make her friend feel bad, she was just going nudy to show her support.
5. The Patrick Stewart solution
With Battlepug, we have a story within a story, that’s all fine but Mike Norton can do more than that, in fact, this is actually a story within a story within a story and it’s being told by Patrick Stewart’s Patrick Stewart character from the british hit series “Extras”. It makes so much sense that every other explanation will instantly self-destruct right now.
Which reminds me of the best moment of tv history, sorry, it doesn’t fit the topic but then again, Bowie fits everywhere: