SURPRISE! I love Jeremy Renner, so obviously, I try to catch up with his movie work (and his private life, his internet history, doctor’s appointments and sleeping habits – just for fun). I watched the whole dire Bourne-Trilogy to understand what’s going on in the fourth movie but I really was giddy when I heard he plays in a Hansel and Gretel interpretation with blood and gore and Peter Stormare (who makes the worst movies watchable). Even if this will be the worst shlock fest ever (and it sure sounds like it) it was directed by the guy who did „Dead Snow“ – a zombie nazi ski movie! It can’t go wrong, it has Famke Janssen as the villainess and Gemma ‘where did she play again’ Arterton in it and it looks like Tarantino meets Gilliam. I am sold.
The Bourne Trilogy Answer: Something something conspiracy theory aka there’s no way that something this convoluted and complicated exists so I stopped caring during the second movie and dragged myself through the third one. It better be worth it, Jeremy!
The Gemma Arterton answer: In a lot of good British movies and – as usual – a lot of bad American movies that made no impression on me. She is pretty though, which is why I totally have to hate her, stupid bitch. Oh wait, she’s married? Oh well, I guess she is actually not that bad after all, now, I have to get going, Jeremy’s Facebook account doesn’t hack itself.